Hey, it’s Wednesday!!
Today was a doozy. This morning I had to wait for a parking space at my son’s daycare, then everything from my shoes to the buttons and rivets on my jeans went off in the metal detector. I had to get wanded with a sleeping kid on me. I finally got him upstairs to his daycare and then he did not want to go sit down, and instead, he whined while reaching for me. I made it to my conference on time despite all of that. So instead of even looking at my list, I prayed and what came to mind is insecurity.
My life has been riddled with insecurities: am I thin enough, am I thick enough, is my hair okay, am I doing a great job at work, will I lose my baby weight, will I lose the weight from the steroids, what is wrong with me because I don’t have x, y, or z. Lately, I felt insecure in my performance at work. I love my job and I love the company I work for. But I struggle a lot with imposter syndrome, and after having one too many bad bosses, I questioned my ability to do well. I sometimes question how I landed my job because at times I don’t feel confident in my qualifications when compared to others.
I experienced a breakthrough today in a coaching call from a woman who coaches women in STEM fields. She reminded me of something I used to — "police my thoughts" — although she said it differently than I do. I used to do this faithfully but I don’t know why I stopped. I’m grateful to know that this is biblical. 2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us to capture our thoughts and bring them into obedience to Christ. Any thought that goes against God’s truth needs to be captured and countered. For example, my thoughts of inadequacy at work can be countered with the reminder that I work willingly with whatever I do and that I ultimately work for God (Col 3:23-24). My insecurities about my weight and post-baby body, body after hospitalization can be countered with Psalm 139:13-14 — that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (Not to mention the fact that I am working out more and being more active.)
I don’t know if you have insecurities like I do, but know that any thought or self-view that causes you to question who and what God says you are is a lie.
Day 3: I release all of my insecurities. I release thinking I am inadequate in any area. I release the lie that in some way I am less than or lacking. I release the belief that "only if, then" – only if this thing were different, then I would be better. I uproot all lies that caused me to be overly critical of myself. I release the need to people-please. I release self-defeating cycles. I release the need for the validation of others.
Affirmation: I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:13-14). I am strong. I am bold, confident, and courageous. I work hard and am constantly looking for ways to improve myself. I love myself. I love my body. I am beautiful. I am wise. I am affirmed in God and His love. I am validated by God. I am here on purpose and I will live in purpose, fulfilling God’s purposes and plans for my life.
Prayer: Father God, I thank You for bringing to mind the need to release insecurity. For a long time, I have allowed the voices of insecurity to cause me to doubt who I am in You. I have shied away from pursuing career opportunities, relationships and other opportunities for growth due to a lack of confidence in who You say I am. Today I come into agreement with You. I am Your child. I am an heir of God so I am royalty. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I can do everything You called and anointed me to do. I seek to live out Your will and way. By Your power and strength, I silence the voices of insecurity once and for all. I thank You that everything that served as a catalyst for insecurity prevailing over me is defeated and destroyed. I am confident in who I am and who You created me to be. In Jesus’ name, Amen.