Today was beautiful. From the time I arrived at the conference until the time I left, it was just so rich with learnings. From this very morning, I knew God was speaking that I needed to release failure and how I interpret. To be honest, God actually put in on my mind early by having me post on FB in the last day or so about reviewing perceived failures for the lesson.
The lunch keynote was amazing and truly reinforced me looking at failure differently. The speaker instead encouraged us to look at failure as a lesson in what not to do or what did not work. That alone caused me to think of so many things, several past relationships, law school, work, even sometimes I feel like I’m failing as a mom.
The truth is, I can say I have learned a lot from failures – all the nos I received for interviews, the mistakes I have made in my career journey, and even in dating and relationships. Lately, I have been evaluating myself in these latter areas because I want to recognize the cycle so I do not repeat it. I want to know what did I miss or overlook, how did I try to control things, and in what ways can I take the keys I gained and apply them going forward. If I am honest though, I have still been beating myself up about the failures I have gained from making poor choices to the point that I allowed it to paralyze me in fear for a while.
I realized earlier today that the one "failure" that I have struggled with letting go of was the effects of the relationship with my son’s father. I had multiple failures in it — from failing to recognize red flags soon enough to failing to live up to people’s expectation or ideal of me — I truly felt like I failed as a person. While I believe I have always been transparent about my struggles, people assumed being a single mom was not something that would happen to me. After revealing my pregnancy, I dealt with a lot of emotions. I also dealt with feeling like I failed my son by not being married to his father. I am grateful now for the pain my pregnancy brought me because it forced me to do the work to heal before I had my son. I had to be really honest with myself and confront my truth and my "failure."
So today I am beyond grateful to release failure because I have learned so much in my failures.
Day 3: I release the concept of failure as a negative experience. I release the lies that having an incorrect understanding of failure fed off of. I release the belief and mindset of failure, being afraid to try and accepting things as they are as the status quo. I release the feeling that life is over because I "failed" and that I can not try again. I release failure’s friends — insecurity and fear — and I destroy the shackles chaining me to the pain of "failure."
Affirmation: I am a lifelong learner, and as a result, I fail. In my failures are lessons and I learn the lessons and apply them, improving my life for the better. I am not my past. I am not the sum of my mistakes, rather, I am the sum of the lessons applied from my failures. I am free to experience life, fail, learn, and live again.
Prayer: Abba, I am so grateful to you for a new mindset and for renewing my mind as Your word says in Romans 12:2. Thank You for giving me a fresh revelation of failure. I thank You that my failures are lessons. I thank you for fresh clarity and understanding of every lesson I learned or was supposed to learn through the failures in all relationships, work, and my relationship with You and myself. I thank You for freedom today, and that I apply everything You’ve revealed to realign myself to the purpose, will, and way that You have for me. I thank You for my liberation!! In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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