So I know its been a very long time on since I’ve written…so I figured I would get my thoughts and views out of my head and onto my blog where they could gain responses.
So I’ve been dating!…and well, being that I’ve floated from relationship to relationship in the past, I wasn’t really aware of what an investment is in 2016. It’s an investment of time, energy, and patience. There is still this huge divide between men and women in communication and while I don’t quite understand why when our society is so “connected”…I understand that we are still fundamentally different as a whole.
This has caused me to question my beliefs and stances on many things as both a woman, an independent one at that, and as a Christian. It’s led me to ask myself questions like, am I too shallow and am I nitpicking or searching for a reason to x someone out.
The truth is, this whole process is a huge faith walk for me with growth intertwined. I’ve had to acknowledge some truths about myself and also recognize that there is nothing wrong with being different, having standards and simply just not being that into someone.
So alas…here was my conversation with God and myself today. I found myself wondering whether I was settling and/or trying to find fault with the guys that have been pursuing me lately. For example, I stopped dating a guy because he couldn’t handle my busyness (albeit he never communicated this to me until he sent the subliminal ultimatum text). While they are nice, there are certainly things that concern me. It caused me to have a Come-to-Jesus moment today (I’ve been having a lot of these lately) about whether I’m using the right thing to guide my choices and decisions about people I choose to entertain.
Going forward, I will continue to use common sense, but more importantly, I’ll let the Holy Spirit guide my choices. Why? Because we are told to not be unequally yoked. We are told that the man is the head of the household and also the head spiritually. Many of the idioms of Christianity in regards to marriage have caused me concern as I navigate the dating field because of my calling. I cannot deny what God called me to do, and so it makes me leery of choosing who to date. While granted my own faith could be the very thing to lead a man to Christ, I don’t want to be so carnally-led that I settle for someone who could significantly impact my relationship with God for the worst. So this has driven me closer to God in ways previously unseen, for which I’m very grateful.
I’ll be honest…I am somewhat shallow, lol. I do have a type, to an extent (thank God that “type” has matured, GLORY lol). But there are simply things I cannot deny. I want to be attracted to my husband. I want him to be sooo in love with God that his love for draws me to him and closer to God. I want us to have chemistry. I want him to make me laugh. I want him to be smart, intelligent, and witty. I want him to be able to handle my competitiveness. I want him to not be intimidated by my career and calling, and I want to have those kinds of conversations with him without reservations. I want him to love his momma. I want him to be tall, dark and handsome (just kidding on some of that 😉). I don’t want to be aggravated or allow my pet peeves to keep me from meeting a great man.
So…all of this to say…above all else…please be God-led in your dating so that your marriage will be God-ordained!