Lead me in Your truth and teach me, For You are the God of my salvation; For You I wait all the day. Psalm 25:5 NASB
There is a song called "Background" by Lecrae, and the chorus says "Won’t you take the Lead, lead, lead…and I can play the background, the background and you can take the leeeeeeaaaaad (lol)." In talking with my friend last night, I realized the importance of losing control to God by remembering how I felt when it happened to me.
I did not realize how much I had felt the need to be in control of my life until I lost it. I mean virtually everything I had planned happened for me with no struggle: I graduated high school with no problems, got into every school I applied to, and even had school paid for. I was able to attend an out-of-state college in Atlanta which is where I said I wanted to be and live for school. I had a boyfriend and great friends, so my life was peachy. I had never been sick majorly, only colds and allergies that I can think of, and of course the measles and chicken pox. But there was really no opposition whatsoever. Then almost seemingly the world as I knew it came crashing down around me junior year when I was diagnosed with kidney disease. Everything that I knew had changed and that control I had unknowingly cherished was snatched from my grasp. I hated that God had even kept me alive because I did not understand why I had to suffer. I see now that it has only been growth and a maturing of my faith that has revealed the necessity of those things in my life as well as praying for God to lead me and show me how to manifest the life He wants for me.
At this point in my life, I know and take comfort more each day in God’s leading me. A scripture I meditate on pretty regularly now is Psalm 32:8, which says "I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you." (NASB) I actually like the AKJV better because it says "I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you shall go: I will guide you with my eye." God promises to lead and guide us on the best pathway for our lives and that He will guide us with His eye. I take that to mean that God will give us several things: a divine vision of the path we are to follow, ‘insider’ tips and information on how to succeed revealed by His Spirit, and basically an answer key to pass any trial and test that comes.
However if you are like I was, hard-headed and determined to live life your way, I am sure this seems unfathomable and totally foreign to you. How can a God you cannot see lead you? If you are honest, you’ve felt this way before too. I questioned everything and fought to get my way, which resulted in some of the worst times in my life…all because I wanted to do what I thought was best for me.
I have since surrendered to God and I pray daily that He leads me and shows me the way. Life isn’t easy, but God and His provision of the above–a vision for me to follow, tips (words to my heart and mind from the Holy Spirit, prophetic guidance from godly counsel, and the Spoken Word), and the answer key (the Bible), I have done a whole lot better than I did in the past. We have to learn to release the reins and get in the back of the buggy. We have to move to the back of the train and let God be the conductor. We have to allow God to drive the bus because He alone knows the way. We cannot believe that we alone have it all together and that God has no place or purpose in our lives. It was not until I finally exhaled to let go that my life truly began to take shape and take off. Get in the back seat and ride. Let God take the lead and show you what you need!
Teach me to do Your will, For You are my God; Let Your good Spirit lead me on level ground. Psalm 143:10 NASB