Author: marquitabp

Hey, it’s Wednesday!!

Today was a doozy. This morning I had to wait for a parking space at my son’s daycare, then everything from my shoes to the buttons and rivets on my jeans went off in the metal detector. I had to get wanded with a sleeping kid on me. I finally got him upstairs to his daycare and then he did not want to go sit down, and instead, he whined while reaching for me. I made it to my conference on time despite all of that. So instead of even looking at my list, I prayed and what came to mind is insecurity.

My life has been riddled with insecurities: am I thin enough, am I thick enough, is my hair okay, am I doing a great job at work, will I lose my baby weight, will I lose the weight from the steroids, what is wrong with me because I don’t have x, y, or z. Lately, I felt insecure in my performance at work. I love my job and I love the company I work for. But I struggle a lot with imposter syndrome, and after having one too many bad bosses, I questioned my ability to do well. I sometimes question how I landed my job because at times I don’t feel confident in my qualifications when compared to others.

I experienced a breakthrough today in a coaching call from a woman who coaches women in STEM fields. She reminded me of something I used to — "police my thoughts" — although she said it differently than I do. I used to do this faithfully but I don’t know why I stopped. I’m grateful to know that this is biblical. 2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us to capture our thoughts and bring them into obedience to Christ. Any thought that goes against God’s truth needs to be captured and countered. For example, my thoughts of inadequacy at work can be countered with the reminder that I work willingly with whatever I do and that I ultimately work for God (Col 3:23-24). My insecurities about my weight and post-baby body, body after hospitalization can be countered with Psalm 139:13-14 — that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (Not to mention the fact that I am working out more and being more active.)

I don’t know if you have insecurities like I do, but know that any thought or self-view that causes you to question who and what God says you are is a lie.

Day 3: I release all of my insecurities. I release thinking I am inadequate in any area. I release the lie that in some way I am less than or lacking. I release the belief that "only if, then" – only if this thing were different, then I would be better. I uproot all lies that caused me to be overly critical of myself. I release the need to people-please. I release self-defeating cycles. I release the need for the validation of others.

Affirmation: I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:13-14). I am strong. I am bold, confident, and courageous. I work hard and am constantly looking for ways to improve myself. I love myself. I love my body. I am beautiful. I am wise. I am affirmed in God and His love. I am validated by God. I am here on purpose and I will live in purpose, fulfilling God’s purposes and plans for my life.

Prayer: Father God, I thank You for bringing to mind the need to release insecurity. For a long time, I have allowed the voices of insecurity to cause me to doubt who I am in You. I have shied away from pursuing career opportunities, relationships and other opportunities for growth due to a lack of confidence in who You say I am. Today I come into agreement with You. I am Your child. I am an heir of God so I am royalty. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I can do everything You called and anointed me to do. I seek to live out Your will and way. By Your power and strength, I silence the voices of insecurity once and for all. I thank You that everything that served as a catalyst for insecurity prevailing over me is defeated and destroyed. I am confident in who I am and who You created me to be. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Happy Tuesday!!

So the irony of today (rather yesterday) is that it came to me to use this quote from Elsa as the header of these posts. Last night while watching TV with my baby, I saw that Frozen is coming on this Friday. And of course, they were playing Elsa singing Let It Go, haha. I took that as a sign from God that 1) this time of releasing was part of His divine plan, and 2) that I heard and hear His voice clearly.

Today I had another item on my list for the second day, but as I prayed, I felt led to focus on fear. Many times in the Bible, God tells the person of focus (and us) to "be courageous" and to "fear not." I would be crazy if I did not admit this was difficult. I have felt ashamed at times for allowing fear to torment me, especially for a "Believer."

The truth is, I have many fears that I gave the right of influencing my day to day choices. In some cases, I think I let fear keep me from making the necessary choices. But there are others where I recognized my weakness and looked to God’s power (2 Corinthians 12:7-10) and relied on Him to follow the path before me.

I release it today because it is hindering me from being a whole, complete person. It is keeping me from taking necessary risks in many areas of my life. I have even been beyond the point of tears — in full ugly cry, lol — because I didn’t want to make a decision that was potentially life-changing without an insight into the outcome. But I remind myself of the instances where I took the risk and didn’t stay in fear. Those times produced some of the greatest opportunities and blessings in my life.

Last night as I was reading, I came across this quote – "Worry is the price you pay for a debt you may never owe." It made me think about all the reasons I talked myself out of things, from fear, worrying about things that have never happened, and being anxious about the things I worried about. I am fed up and I want to live completely on the other side of fear. So today, I choose to release fear.

Day 2: I release fear. I release doubt. I release anxiety. I release worry. I release the roots of fear in my life: broken promises and trust, unmet expectations, trauma, disappointments, and generational patterns. I cancel the hold fear and its partners have had over me. I decree and declare my freedom today.

Affirmation: God reigns and He is in control. In 2 Timothy 1:7, God reminds me that He has not given me a spirit of fear but instead has given me power, love, and discipline. Today I take up power and walk in boldness and authority. I take up love and remember that perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18). Because I allow God to renew my mind daily (Romans 12:2) and the Lord is my shepherd (Ps 23), I follow the plan and path God sets before me. I submit to God and resist the enemy (James 4:7). Because God promises to never leave me nor forsake me, I know I can go forward on the path He created for me without fear.

Prayer: Lord God, forgive me for allowing fear to cripple me. Forgive me for allowing the lies in my mind to keep me from Your promises for me. Forgive me for believing the lies all these years. Today, I choose to believe You and remember that Your love is the greatest force, having the power to cast out fear. I thank You for setting me free, by Your son and by Your Spirit. Your word says that whom the Son has set free is truly free indeed (John 8:36)! Your word also says that where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty (2 Cor 3:17). So today, and every day forward, I choose to live free in You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Love Ya!