The LORD will perfect that which concerns me: your mercy, O LORD, endures forever: forsake not the works of your own hands. Psalm 138:8 KJV2000
This has been on my heart for a while to write. I had been thinking of how my life has changed drastically in the last 3 years: lost friends, made some lifelong ones, finally adjusted to my life without my daddy, set plans in motion to move, moved nearly a 1000 miles away, started law school, got a new niece, made a vow to God to not cut my hair (as DIFFICULT as that is for me lol) and to honor my temple, gained new ministry opportunities, realized some of the gifts I have, finished my book and finally embraced me. One of the things that stood out the most for me was how God started moving people in and out of my life, which turned out to be the most painful part of the process.
When you are on your path to oneness with God, He will most definitely have you do some strange things. I cannot begin to tell you all the things God has had me do and a lot of them were uncomfortable. It hurt to not have some people on this journey with me, but it is all a part of trusting the process. I am reminded of Ecclesiastes 3, where we are told by Solomon that there is a time, a season for everything under the sun, and this most definitely includes relationships. Some friends I would not have imagined I would be without right now. At one point or another, I thought our relationships were covenant, forged in the fire of adversity to be lifelong. However, I was wrong. During that process, God has revealed to me that everyone was not my friend for the necessity of simply being my friend. No, they had become my friend for what I could do for them, or for what they saw in me, and how that thing could benefit them.
The pruning process is hard and painful. It’s much like removing a mole: depending on the method, you could be numbed to it and feel the pain afterwards, or you could be wide awake and feel it be snatched off of you, or you could be brave enough to do the callous thing yourself! I had to end some relationships because the person’s dependency on me was unhealthy and they honestly took more away from me than they added. Others were snatched from me by life and circumstance. Either way I was not happy–not happy to have to lose a friend, not happy to have to man up and do something that had long needed to be done, or simply not happy over having to step outside of my comfort zone.
I look at the scripture above and I think about this…God will perfect those things concerning me, even my choice of friends. I have some friends I have had for years and I see how God has grown us and matured us so our relationships could survive the test of time. I also see how He has used me and my walk to be an encouragement to others, even though it is very uncomfortable to be so open with some of the things I have gone through. But I realize yet again, He was just perfecting my circle, making sure those that are around me reinforce those same principles He wants me to reflect. I don’ t know if you have ever been in a fun house at the fair, with all the mirrors. But if you have been, and all the lights are on, have you ever noticed how bright the lights are in the part where the mirrors are arranged so that you see yourself in all the mirrors? Why is the light so bright? It is simple, yet complex: the mirrors reflect each other’s light. And so will your perfect circle will reflect your light. Maybe it’s time to check your circle, or turn on the light.
For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6 NASB