“You are the one
who put me together
inside my mother’s body,
and I praise you
the wonderful way
you created me.
Everything you do is marvelous!
Of this I have no doubt.”
Psalm 139:13-14 CEV
Growing up one of the things I was most insecure about was my weight. (*GASP* shocker!! lol). It wasn’t until I went through what at the time was the most difficult experience of my life…finding out I had kidney disease my junior year of college…that I was finally able to address this particular issue head on. Along with it came prednisone…and I tell y’all it was the best and worst thing I had to endure. The worst: I already struggled with my weight, among other things, from being picked on and being told by a relative that I came from ’roundness’ on both sides so I would need to be careful…what damaging things (be careful what you say, words are powerful). So in taking a whopping 40 mg twice a day I gained nearly 30 pounds in less than 3 months. My face broke out from the stress and I’m sure the addition of medicines to my daily regimen. I had no energy and was in pain. I got so depressed…because I didn’t recognize the face smiling back at me…because I was bigger than what I felt I should be…because people asked me if I had a baby…because instead of stretch marks I have rip marks on my arms and sides from the extreme stretching that I FELT happening. I cried daily, because I found no one to relate to. I stopped talking pictures (y’all know how I am about pictures)…all because I hated what looked back at me. I felt ugly and fat…something I feared being (which serves as proof that sometimes what you fear will manifest). It wasn’t until an encounter in KMart that I really learned to embrace myself and love me from the inside out. That was the best part, that I overcame my past to love me in the present and give myself a better future. (out of the mouths of babes :D)
Now the tables have turned, I have been hovering around the same weight, I eat healthier, and I embrace me and everything that entails for who I was born to be. That may mean I won’t be the ‘thickest’, the most curvy anymore, or any other beauty standard women are measured by…but I love me! I’ve been studying Esther’s life, and in that story, her weight as a requirement of her beauty is nowhere to be found! I’m certain her inner beauty–the thing that gave her favor everywhere she went, her gift from God–is what won her the coveted spot as queen in a foreign land! Ladies and fellas too, I share this today to encourage you to love who you are and watch things change. Whatever process ensues–cleansing, fasting, etc.–embrace it to be the best you yet! Physical beauty is only skin deep, but a beautiful soul will draw others to you! Let God transform you!
Below is a video I just did that elaborates on this…be encouraged! Love what you see!