You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail. Proverbs 19:21 NLT
Looking back, I amaze myself with the things I thought I was going to do. I thought I was going to marry Ginuwine the singer lol, then I thought I would be a doctor, a psychiatrist at that. I thought I would marry my first boyfriend and have kids by the time I was 25, I thought I would be back in Atlanta too. None of these plans have come to fruition obviously, because I am still single, still not a doctor, and still in Charleston–but on my way out thank God, heading to New Orleans for law school. I never imagined that with my 27th birthday being a week away, that I would be starting over it seems. But God had to tell me to get out of my own way.
The strides God has taken in my life in the last 6 months, well truthfully this last year, are beyond measure. It all started with a conversation with Him during my final plane ride to Ohio, which was confirmed in a ‘spiritual intervention’ I had with my linesister Yvette (smile), and later officially put into action upon the completion of my vision board last June. I had finally gotten up from being knocked down by the series of events beginning in 2009 following my transplant. I thought faith at that time was waiting on God to do something, waiting on His action and simply believing. Now I know better. Faith requires that you do whatever God tells you to do–you must pray and move, step, stand, or jump, but you must do your part. I got up and out of my own way, and you know what, things started happening. Plans changed, people shifted in and out of my life for more spiritually grounded people, and miracles and favor changed how I understand God and His movements.
Everyone who knows me knows that I am a planner. I could probably do event planning because that’s how much I plan. I plan a party, a dinner, and my life on a whim; I get into the ‘zone’ and crank it out, then do it. But now because I have been seeking God’s purpose for my life and listened long enough to hear Him clearly reveal it to me, I know that the plans I make are inspired by Him. No longer do I make decisions to appease anyone else; instead, I go to God for His leading and direction and I simply do.
We spend so much time on the wrong path because we stay in our own way. We ‘wait on God’ to do something, ignore His direction and leading, or simply live aimless lives to please our own carnal desires. This can’t be!! Lives, souls and eternity are at stake. We don’t listen when He gives us that red flag about our relationships; we stay stuck in the mud. We run from situation to situation, trailing the dirt and baggage from every thing we have gone through with us until we reach the point of no return, brokenness. We do not give God the opportunity to help us because of our pride nor do we allow Him to inspire us with a way out of the situaiton. We take the wrong job because we were so focused on getting back to that place or that person that we end up miserable, crying, complaining and hurting from all of the devils that came with it. It is when we reach that place of brokenness that we finally cry out to God to alleviate our struggles and give us deliverance. Fortunately God never says it is too late and out of brokenness can come true beauty.
I was in my own way for a long time, over four years to be honest about it. I was planning my life trying to fulfill what I thought He wanted me to do. I finally stopped trying to please everyone else including myself and really got before Him to hear what He has been saying all along. I do not know what this next step in my journey entails but I am excited about it. I can honestly say I feel so free, so alive for the first time because I am pursuing His will and not my plans. Following in the path He lays before you guarantees you get there…and I’m not giving up on that for anybody, including myself. Get out of your own way, do your part and have faith! If its God’s will, you will gain so much fulfillment and peace from the results.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT