In Uncharted Waters
"Your own ears will hear him. Right behind you a voice will say, "This is the way you should go," whether to the right or to the left." Isaiah 30:21 NLT
Hey!!!!! Today is a great day. It started off great, got a little bumpy, but its gotten better and I have to thank God. This is a new place for me. I've never been in a place of praying and trusting first, then acting. I've always been a go-getter, a solve the problem and act type of person. I admit I am a control freak, lol. I can fix everyone else's problems but I finally had to realize I could not fix my own…and that mess hurts! Although this very seldom applies to me, because I have a great sense of direction, I have had the occasion of being lost once or twice. Now I know plenty of people who cannot say the same. But when you get lost, after you didn't follow the directions you were given, or if you were bold and went the trip without even asking, do you humble yourself and use your GPS/ask directions, or do you keep driving past the same gas station in arrogance?
Today I realize I am in a new place. Its uncomfortable by every standard–I'm forced to be patient and wait, I'm forced to let go and let God, I'm forced to forgive and start over. Yes, I have a choice in all of this, I could step out of God's covering and do what I want. I could voice my opinions and desires and potentially lose a valuable friend. I could ignore the pressing need for me to forgive and let go of all my hurts that stem from my father's passing, and potentially die from the negative effects of unforgiveness. I could take all of my mess back from God and try to fix it myself, and put myself in a worse hole. But I'm deciding this time to go God's way. Why? Because truthfully I am tired of running things, time to let someone else make all the decisions and I follow. I'm tired of being that go-to person for every single person and feeling burned out when I get to my own stuff. I'm tired of hurting after I tried to do something my way and got scarred when I fell down.
Now I can clearly hear God as I am in the midst of this storm. It has the potential to be turbulent–in fact, it is turbulent, in my mind and heart as they are both heavy right now. But the good thing is that God is steering the ship and He knows the course very well. He knows where I am going and He knows how to get me there safely with everything I need. Hopefully at the end of this leg of the journey, I'll be a much wiser and stronger person–but I can trust and rest assured that I will because trusting in God grows and stretches my faith. It is tough, Lord knows it is, but I want to say I'm happy and at peace with where I am going, because I waited on God's direction.
"He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way." Psalm 25:9 NIV