When Insecurity Grabs Hold of You
And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:18
Afternoon! I hope you are having a fantabulous day! I am trying, but this fickle weather is irking me. Oh well! Day 2 of my fast and yes I’m hungry! But I’ve been downing my water and drinking Slim Fast–dual edged sword haha. But I just want some chocolate…guess hot cocoa will have to suffice. Anyway, I have been thinking of all things I have to do for my pageant. I’m going to have to cover up my tattoos, stria–really bad stretch marks, and scars. My little body has been through a lot. I remember when I was on really high doses of prednisone—I tell you that stuff is poison, God forgive me and I hope it only does the good that it is supposed to from now on. When I was taking like 40 mg a day, over the course of three months I gained about 30 lbs. So as my skin stretched in every place imaginable to accommodate the weight, it literally ripped. The itching and the pain from it along with some of the other things I dealt with tormented me mentally and physically. But what made me look pass it was one day I was in KMart at home and a little boy told his mom I was pretty. I started crying immediately and had to run out of the store. As I type I’m tearing up. Because it was very painful to have no control over what was happening, but more so because I was insecure about it. I didn’t want to go outside, I didn’t want to go anywhere. From my perspective, I was not the same Marquita. I was someone else trapped in a shell I could not fix. Riddled with additional side effects like really bad shakes and acne now I realize that it was only the devil. The devil attacks your body and your mind to distract you and get you off balance. What better tools than your own body and mind right?
Many times throughout the Bible God has His authors tell us that we are made in His image.(Genesis 1:26-27, 1 Corinthians 15:49) God’s image is perfect and great, so since we reflect His likeness, what stops us from being great? What stops us from accepting the wrapper that He gave us? Because of what someone else thinks? No!!! Don’t you do it! Each one of us is crowned with God’s glory and honor.(Psalm 8:5). I told myself everyday for months that I am created in God’s likeness until I believed it. God made us all!(Proverbs 22:2) The only reason insecurities take over is because we allow them to. Don’t make yourself live by some unrealistic standard of beauty or intelligence created by someone who doesn’t look like or think like you. You are smart enough, you are strong enough, you are pretty or handsome enough because you are the reflection of God! “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”(Philippians 4:13) My scars are my war wounds, because I’m still here for His work and will be until it’s done! Be blessed!
In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. 1 John 4:17