Category: Devotions

“Now the Lord has brought it about and has done as He said: [It is] because you [of Judah] have sinned against the Lord and have not obeyed His voice, therefore this thing has come upon you.”
‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭40:3‬ ‭AMP‬‬

This last ten days I’ve been vegan. Meaning no meat, no dairy, no eggs, and nothing made of or by an animal. This was a part of a 21-day fast God commissioned for my healing and deliverance from my childhood molestation once and for all. 10 days were set aside for me to do a vegan challenge to release and be cleansed. And these last 10 days have been amazing. Most definitely a cleansing, a healing, a purging and a release has taken place in my heart, mind, body and spirit. God pressed my heart to share, so here goes.

The things that resonate the loudest are intentional and obedience. I had to be intentional to do what I said I would do so that I could be successful. On the Friday I began, I had to make up on my mind to not eat what was convenient and to instead go eat a black bean burger and sweet potato fries. I contemplated just doing something else and delaying the challenge until later in the year and God said no. He pressed me to do what He said now. I then spent the weekend buying everything I would need to be successful food-wise. Over these last 10 days, I’ve just felt light and free. I’ve been able to release so many things and just be free in myself…but I know it was because God told me that in order to be successful at this I needed to be intentional–which requires absolute obedience and no compromise.

Some of the benefits I’ve noticed are clear urine and multiple BMs daily(sorry if it’s TMI lol haha 😅) clearer skin, weight loss (I’m definitely not a 6/borderline 8, possibly back into my 4s), more energy, better focus…but I’ve spiritually released so many lies and ignorance from my life. Molestation took a tremendous toll on my life and it distorted how I saw myself. This purge was to finally efface the stain it put on my life. It was to make me clean and to give me a clear slate. I learned over the years that this single event cracked the lens I saw through. Today, I can finally say it’s been renewed, restored and replaced with a new lens, God’s truth. As I did this physical thing to signify the spiritual act I partook, I felt mental chains falling off. I now believe I can do anything. I know that everything God has told me will happen. I still have days, where if things aren’t happening as quickly as I would like or I’m unsure, I feel overwhelmed by thoughts of doubt trying to make me regress, but I choose to remind myself of God’s truth and press onward.

How this translates to life: sometimes even when others question your journey, stating their objections or they don’t understand, you must remain intentional in your obedience. (I believe I must saw that you have to know this is what God told you to do for you.) You must holdfast to what God told you to do. You must take hold of God’s promises and obey Him and Him alone. Three times I’ve gone to restaurants and been faced with the temptation to not eat my vegan meal. The first time my coworkers encouraged me to give up and start over. Because they aren’t where I am or even aware, I was able to easily ignore them. On the other occasions, my mother encouraged me to stick to it. Now, on day 10, I’m grateful because God has clearly spoken to me about several things.

In this walk we must be intentional, regardless of what God leads us to do, no matter how unorthodox it is. We must be obedient to whatever God is telling us to do. We must be intentional in our obedience because in order for us to be used by Him and for Him to get the full glory from our lives, we have to prove He can trust us. (If you can be trusted with little, you can be trusted with a lot–Parable of the Talents) In our intentional obedience to God, we create a trust relationship with him. Who a person trusts demonstrates who can be admitted to the inner circle. I want to be in God’s inner circle. I hope you do too!

“But by your callous stubbornness and impenitence of heart you are storing up wrath and indignation for yourself on the day of wrath and indignation, when God’s righteous judgment (just doom) will be revealed. For He will render to every man according to his works [justly, as his deeds deserve]: [Ps. 62:12.] To those who by patient persistence in well-doing [springing from piety] seek [unseen but sure] glory and honor and [the eternal blessedness of] immortality, He will give eternal life. But for those who are self-seeking and self-willed and disobedient to the Truth but responsive to wickedness, there will be indignation and wrath. [And] there will be tribulation and anguish and calamity and constraint for every soul of man who [habitually] does evil, the Jew first and also the Greek (Gentile). But glory and honor and [heart] peace shall be awarded to everyone who [habitually] does good, the Jew first and also the Greek (Gentile). For God shows no partiality [undue favor or unfairness; with Him one man is not different from another]. [Deut. 10:17; II Chron. 19:7.]”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭2:5-11‬ ‭AMP‬‬

I don’t even know where to begin. I apologize in advance…I know this will be long but I have to get it out. Three years ago God spoke to me about sharing my testimony about being molested. At that point I still cried profusely about what happened to me as a child. It still hurt…in my mind I identified myself by it. It was the shrine of my shame. But God then again prophetically told me it was time to heal from it, right before my birthday. So I began a fast for 21 days after my birthday. Today is day 12. Yesterday was the first day of my going vegan for 10 days and even then I knew God was going to do something in me.

I’ve been doing several things…an Esther purification process that God led me to do back in 2012 for a year and back then it blew my mind how much God loved me to lead me to go through that process of healing and unloading. But this time I knew it was different (it is something I plan to launch in January for other women as a guided process…I’ll elaborate later). I’m on my second six months, and today I began a new anointing oil, frankincense. The first six months I anointed myself daily with the oil of myrrh, which is known for its purifying and pruning properties. I confessed scriptures that aligned with being pruned and purified daily. The first oil of the second six months (see Esther 2:12) was cardamom, which alludes to being spotless, without stain or blemish. When I got that word from God that He was going to completely heal me from being molested, I was in the middle week (7 oils, roughly 3 weeks each oil for the second six months)…and I thought it was so loving of God to help me permanently erase the stain of molestation and sexual abuse from my life. I know it was His plan!!! So when I began the 21 days, I vowed to share a secret from being molested each day to shine the light on sexual abuse and child molestation.

In addition to that process, I began a 40 day journey individually on June 18 and with one of my sister-friends on July 1st to "make miracles" — its not sacrilegious at all, its actually being grateful in all situations and giving God the room to move (comment for more information, you are welcome to join us). Then I also began another study group with several of my friends that has overlapped…so it was today’s reading that I had the breakthrough of all breakthroughs. I felt it was God that nudged me to glance ahead so I could alert my friend to the day we had ahead of us and that I would be there for her and vice versa. Literally as I began reading the entry, a song came on — "Never Be Bound Again" — and I couldn’t stop crying. Towards the end of the reading, another song prophetically declared this is the season for release. And I wish I could explain to you what I felt! Literally everything the person in this entry felt — that was me. I used my pain to help others. I used my pain to motivate others spiritually because it was only God that kept me alive. I felt that while I was able to love others, I was unlovable because I was damaged, and every single thing that happened after that, made me feel less and less worthy of love, more damaged. Being molested changed how I saw everything, how I related to everyone. It completely warped my reality. I’ve recounted some of these things in my videos but I really thank God for today because it was all laid out. I thought I was free before…not like I am right now. Last month’s confession focus was to be blemishless and blameless…today the author pointed out how truly blameless abuse victims are and it gave me so much freedom! The lie I had believed for years had nothing to stand on. I knew God had been doing something in me lately because of the reminders all week long to forgive and having me share what He’s done in me. I felt led to share with all of you my freedom so that you can get your own.

I don’t know what your wound is. Maybe it is something that others inflicted on you like mine was, maybe its something you did to yourself. But I am a LIVING testimony that God will free you. God will save you from your pit. God will pull you up out of the miry clay. He will stop you from living beneath His plan for you. He will separate you from people, attitudes, beliefs, whatever it is that is limiting you because that is just how good and how great God is. He will teach you that you are capable and able to love and receive love. He will heal your broken heart and restore your brokenness. He will teach you to give true love without reservations in whatever way He needs to. There is freedom in Jesus. There is healing in Jesus. There is restoration in Jesus. Don’t let the devil lie to you and water down just how powerful God is. God is love, and love is the most abundant resource in the universe. God will do whatever it takes to make sure you know His love, meeting you right where you are.

I can finally say I’m free. I no longer hold a grudge for what shouldn’t have happened. I am grateful because I am not a victim. I am a victor. God allowed it so that He could get the glory from my life and I wanna make sure other people get free too. Get your freedom today!

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. 2 Corinthians 3:17