The Lessons I Learned From My Hair Falling Out

Happy Friday folks!

So I’m sure you probably think this is the last thing that could have any relevance to God right…wrong.

The last thing that is on a new mother’s mind is her hair falling out. My hair actually wasn’t the last thing on my mind though. I had the crazy wives’ tales that said I shouldn’t wash my hair until 6 weeks after my son was born that I had to fight with (if you’ve heard it, please don’t listen to it. It isn’t scientifically or even scripturally grounded in truth. Don’t be like me with stinky hair…I ended up losing a lot of length from what I had to get trimmed off because of it.)…and I also had to fight with keeping it away from my son who has the grip of a Olympic weight lifter. Sigh.

I think maybe about 8-10 weeks after my son was born, I began to notice, with increasing frequency, a pile of strands that would come out with regular combing. Then I realized that despite the fact that I had prayed against this phenomenon, God had allowed the postpartum shedding fairy to visit me too. As if I didn’t have enough on my plate — mentally and spiritually preparing to return to work, finding the right child care for my son, and just the day to day throws of motherhood — I had a new focal point: finding the key to reversing, slowing or thwarting the hair shedding.

So Google became my best friend and I researched high and low for remedies to at least grow my hair back eventually and reverse some of the hair loss I was experiencing. I did thank God in the midst because I heard of some tragic manifestations of postpartum hair loss that I had not been experiencing. It was not until the end of last week and earlier this week when I noticed my edges were filling back in that I saw the lesson God was trying to teach me.

1. After my son was born and God answered my prayer on why my life had gone the way it went (my lack of patience and failing my test; see a couple posts before this one), I prayed and asked God that He would help me to fail no more tests and get the lesson the first time around instead of taking 14 years like I did with patience. So the fact that it was around 8-10 weeks postpartum when the shedding began, and now it is about 6-8 weeks later, I would say I learned to wait and to be proactive in the wait. I found some remedies to try online and prayed about them before trying them. What I resorted to was a mixture of pumpkin oil and peppermint oil as well as some other hair oils I had used in the past that I would apply to my scalp and massage in every night before tying my hair up for bed. The site I found it on said I should see results in two weeks and while I cannot attest to that for me, now 6-8 weeks later, I can truly say I see growth. In fact, I noticed the most shedding around my edges and I can truly say there are little sprouts of hair that have filled my edges back in now.

2. I learned that you must be consistent. Consistency is something I’ve always struggled with, and especially now. From taking my medicine at the same time every day to getting to work by 9:30, I have not always been consistent. I pointed the finger at situations, people and things, but never really myself. So when it came time to try and prevent the loss of something I valued, I forced myself to be consistent in applying it every night, even when I wore clip-ins. Even if I had to bring the baby in the bathroom with me to take care of my nightly rituals, or instead bring the oil in my room, I did it (and still do it).

3. I learned that you simply…HAVE…TO……WAIT. If you haven’t already guessed it, I struggled with patience for the last 14 years. While I did not always fail, I did not always pass with flying colors. Fortunately having life to live including a new baby and a new job…I had tons of other things to keep my focus while I dealt with the pain of losing my hair. It exposed that I identified myself with having nice, healthy hair and that I needed to go to God about this, about who He says I am and how I should see myself regardless of what may happen. I needed to love myself regardless of how my hair looked…I needed to love me unconditionally.

4. I learned I still have a long way to go as far as maturing in my walk with God. Truth be told, no one wants to experience hair loss. Not an older man, and not a youngish woman like myself. Fortunately I mastered the art of hair parting so I was able to hide it. I also am pretty good with styling hair, so I was able to disguise the thinning parts or hide them altogether. As this relates to our walk, sometimes we hide the ugly parts of ourselves so when the rug gets pulled back, we often try to deny it or are in denial about the things we need to work on. I needed to really let go and trust God about working patience into who I am. I needed to let go of controlling everything, including how long it would take my hair to grow back. Control is sneaky and makes you think that it is the key to an easy life when it is the exact opposite. The more you try to control things, the more difficult you make your own life. You also run the risk of damaging relationships along the way.

The beautiful part is that all of these lessons apply to prayer, having faith and experiencing growth in your faith, and seeing the answers to your prayers, all parts of my relationship with God that I am working on at the moment. While I do not know if my hair shedding has slowed down, at least I can rest in knowing the hair to come will be healthier, more vibrant, and the manifestation of God’s love for me by the lessons I learned.

***if you’re a lady and need the information on all I used, feel free to leave a comment or message me.***

Check Your Light Source

But while I am here in the world, I am the light of the world. John 9:5

So yesterday after getting much rest (PRAISE THE LORT! LOL) I felt motivated to finally change my light bulbs. My electric company gave me (not sure how much of a gift it was) some new LED bulbs that are supposed to save me some money. I changed the majority of the bulbs back before I had my son, but life has kinda been at a standstill in that regard. The idea came to me to change the bulbs in the kitchen too. I wasn’t sure if I could use them until I got on the chair and looked.

So literally after I changed the bulbs in the bathroom and the kitchen I noticed how bright it was in each room. I saw things on my counter in the kitchen that seemed hidden before. It showed me how much I needed to clean up, and how much I didn’t see before with the old bulbs.

Of course God spoke to me in that. So sometimes we cannot see everything we need to see when we have been looking at things under the same light. Sometimes we need a perspective adjustment. Sometimes we need God to pull back the curtain and shine the light on situations to show us the full picture. Sometimes we literally have to ask Jesus to show us what we aren’t seeing, what is keeping us bound or holding us back that we cannot see. In proper lighting and with proper magnification, we can see even the most minute details. We can see things about ourselves we didn’t see or didn’t want to admit. You can see why that person did XYZ to you. You can see that it was how he/she was raised and what they were exposed to that was the catalyst for their behavior. Or you can see it was your habit of second-guessing yourself that caused you to blame yourself instead of what you actually saw. You can then see it was your not wanting to be honest with yourself about your lack of discipline that led you to your current state. Whatever the case may be, light always exposes things hidden in the shadows. Light eradicates darkness, or things you may have been in the dark about. I had to replace the bulbs to see how much I needed to clean my counters and get rid of some things. I also had to ask God that question to understand why people in my life acted a certain way which enabled me to remember to give them grace. I had to ask God that question to truly see why certain things took place in my life — to really see myself and also to see where I needed to change.

So what do you need the light shined on? In what areas do you need to replace the bulbs?

Then God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. Genesis 1:3