Author: marquitabp

Yay, it’s the weekend! Happy Friday loves!

I hope your day has been amazing so far. This week has been great. I learned a lot at the tech conference I went to this week and I’m excited to be curious and keep learning, returning to my old self. Today the message I received from God was to release limiting thought patterns, beliefs, and attitudes. But God started this on Tuesday with the coaching call I had.

During the call, as I mentioned on Tuesday, God reminded me that I needed to return to my former practice of policing my thoughts. The coach told me to stop myself in the middle of those thoughts and ask myself why. Then today, during one of the sessions I was attending, the presenter said that there are two mindsets, a growth mindset, and a fixed mindset. Those with a fixed mindset are more likely to say "I can’t do that" or are afraid to even try. I recognized how I allowed fearful thoughts to prevent me from even trying in some situations. But today, I got the message loud and clear. It was as if God was saying, "Marquita, it is time to really allow me to renew your mind, uprooting the lies once and for all."

One area I have been plagued with negative thinking is in dating. All the mistakes I made in my selection of the men I dated and was sexually involved with in the past made me want to give up completely on dating and perhaps marriage. I have told my prayer partner many times that although it would be difficult, I would settle for being alone until my son was 18. Even typing it makes me recognize my lack of faith. To me, it is easier to not risk being found because of my fear of being hurt or worse, endangering my son, in some way. But I know that is not God’s plan or desire for me.

As even further confirmation, today I was in a session just paying attention. I sat down with my co-workers in the available empty seats. I sat next to a guy and paid no attention otherwise. Until I stretched my arm up to crack my elbow (y’all my joints are out here popping on a regular) and he laughed. Then I cracked my knuckles and he cracked his. I thought it was a coincidence because I don’t know this man but less than an hour later, he added me on LinkedIn. I don’t know when he saw my name tag to add me, but somehow he found me. I have been working on renewing my mind, including thoughts about dating and marriage, for the last several months. I daily affirm Romans 12:2 — that my mind is renewed daily. I affirm my femininity, that I love myself and my body, that I am healed and whole, and other things, including attracting Godly men and my desires for marriage. Let’s just say in the last couple days I’ve gotten friend requests from men out of the woodwork. I believe aside from this being God’s timing, that my submission to Him and seeking Him for a renewed mind in every area of my life, including dating and marriage, brought this about and will continue to bring about changes in the areas where I am standing in faith for His move.

I am BEYOND ready to release limiting beliefs, thoughts and thought patterns, and attitudes to get to everything I’m supposed to have and do.

Day 3: I release the lies. I release every limitation I have put on myself, on others, and on God. I release the fixed mindsets that I am not good enough, that I am damaged because of things that happened to me in the past, that I can’t. I release the belief that something is wrong with me. I release any ideas of being a victim. I release the belief that my future relationships will be like the last. I release the feelings of fear of losing my job. I release the belief that I am inadequate in any way. I release the belief that I need to control things or know the outcome of every aspect of my life and my son’s life. I release the belief that I must know every step before moving forward in faith. I release the belief of thinking I know best. I release my fate and future to God.

Affirmation: I have a Growth mindset. I am the child of a limitless God. I am a woman of surrender and I surrender to God’s will and plan for my life. I am a victor. I learn from my lessons. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. God always provides for me and I trust God. God’s wisdom is infinite so I rest in it and seek God for wisdom in all situations. God orders my steps and makes them sure. My past is my past and I learn from it.

Prayer: Lord God, I thank You for today. Thank You for the lessons I have learned so far in this first week of release. I thank You for illuminating all the limiting beliefs that have delayed me from receiving the blessings You have for me. I release every single belief that is contrary to the truth of God’s word and my identity in Christ. I walk in truth — that I am loved and worthy of love. I stand in faith and know that God loves me. I walk in love, give love, and receive love. I receive all of the blessings that God has stored up for me and no promise God has made me will be forfeited. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Love Ya!!

Happy Thursday!!

Today was beautiful. From the time I arrived at the conference until the time I left, it was just so rich with learnings. From this very morning, I knew God was speaking that I needed to release failure and how I interpret. To be honest, God actually put in on my mind early by having me post on FB in the last day or so about reviewing perceived failures for the lesson.

The lunch keynote was amazing and truly reinforced me looking at failure differently. The speaker instead encouraged us to look at failure as a lesson in what not to do or what did not work. That alone caused me to think of so many things, several past relationships, law school, work, even sometimes I feel like I’m failing as a mom.

The truth is, I can say I have learned a lot from failures – all the nos I received for interviews, the mistakes I have made in my career journey, and even in dating and relationships. Lately, I have been evaluating myself in these latter areas because I want to recognize the cycle so I do not repeat it. I want to know what did I miss or overlook, how did I try to control things, and in what ways can I take the keys I gained and apply them going forward. If I am honest though, I have still been beating myself up about the failures I have gained from making poor choices to the point that I allowed it to paralyze me in fear for a while.

I realized earlier today that the one "failure" that I have struggled with letting go of was the effects of the relationship with my son’s father. I had multiple failures in it — from failing to recognize red flags soon enough to failing to live up to people’s expectation or ideal of me — I truly felt like I failed as a person. While I believe I have always been transparent about my struggles, people assumed being a single mom was not something that would happen to me. After revealing my pregnancy, I dealt with a lot of emotions. I also dealt with feeling like I failed my son by not being married to his father. I am grateful now for the pain my pregnancy brought me because it forced me to do the work to heal before I had my son. I had to be really honest with myself and confront my truth and my "failure."

So today I am beyond grateful to release failure because I have learned so much in my failures.

Day 3: I release the concept of failure as a negative experience. I release the lies that having an incorrect understanding of failure fed off of. I release the belief and mindset of failure, being afraid to try and accepting things as they are as the status quo. I release the feeling that life is over because I "failed" and that I can not try again. I release failure’s friends — insecurity and fear — and I destroy the shackles chaining me to the pain of "failure."

Affirmation: I am a lifelong learner, and as a result, I fail. In my failures are lessons and I learn the lessons and apply them, improving my life for the better. I am not my past. I am not the sum of my mistakes, rather, I am the sum of the lessons applied from my failures. I am free to experience life, fail, learn, and live again.

Prayer: Abba, I am so grateful to you for a new mindset and for renewing my mind as Your word says in Romans 12:2. Thank You for giving me a fresh revelation of failure. I thank You that my failures are lessons. I thank you for fresh clarity and understanding of every lesson I learned or was supposed to learn through the failures in all relationships, work, and my relationship with You and myself. I thank You for freedom today, and that I apply everything You’ve revealed to realign myself to the purpose, will, and way that You have for me. I thank You for my liberation!! In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Love Ya!!

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