Tag: truth

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Embrace the Beauty Within You

“You are the one
who put me together
inside my mother’s body,
and I praise you
because of
the wonderful way
you created me.
Everything you do is marvelous!
Of this I have no doubt.”
Psalm 139:13-14 CEV

Growing up one of the things I was most insecure about was my weight. (*GASP* shocker!! lol). It wasn’t until I went through what at the time was the most difficult experience of my life…finding out I had kidney disease my junior year of college…that I was finally able to address this particular issue head on. Along with it came prednisone…and I tell y’all it was the best and worst thing I had to endure. The worst: I already struggled with my weight, among other things, from being picked on and being told by a relative that I came from ’roundness’ on both sides so I would need to be careful…what damaging things (be careful what you say, words are powerful). So in taking a whopping 40 mg twice a day I gained nearly 30 pounds in less than 3 months. My face broke out from the stress and I’m sure the addition of medicines to my daily regimen. I had no energy and was in pain. I got so depressed…because I didn’t recognize the face smiling back at me…because I was bigger than what I felt I should be…because people asked me if I had a baby…because instead of stretch marks I have rip marks on my arms and sides from the extreme stretching that I FELT happening. I cried daily, because I found no one to relate to. I stopped talking pictures (y’all know how I am about pictures)…all because I hated what looked back at me. I felt ugly and fat…something I feared being (which serves as proof that sometimes what you fear will manifest). It wasn’t until an encounter in KMart that I really learned to embrace myself and love me from the inside out. That was the best part, that I overcame my past to love me in the present and give myself a better future. (out of the mouths of babes :D)

Now the tables have turned, I have been hovering around the same weight, I eat healthier, and I embrace me and everything that entails for who I was born to be. That may mean I won’t be the ‘thickest’, the most curvy anymore, or any other beauty standard women are measured by…but I love me! I’ve been studying Esther’s life, and in that story, her weight as a requirement of her beauty is nowhere to be found! I’m certain her inner beauty–the thing that gave her favor everywhere she went, her gift from God–is what won her the coveted spot as queen in a foreign land! Ladies and fellas too, I share this today to encourage you to love who you are and watch things change. Whatever process ensues–cleansing, fasting, etc.–embrace it to be the best you yet! Physical beauty is only skin deep, but a beautiful soul will draw others to you! Let God transform you!

Below is a video I just did that elaborates on this…be encouraged! Love what you see!

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Crutches

It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man. Psalm 11:8 AKJV

Growing up I had the strange desire to have to use crutches. When my dad broke his ankle, my brothers and I took turns playing with the crutches. Strange things we want as kids…I wanted to have to wear a cast haha, I wanted glasses (overrated, as my brief experience resulted in a lost pair of glasses I paid for myself grrr), and I wanted braces (yet another experience I don’t miss but I often consider to further perfect my smile haha). But now as an adult and having had to use them myself after a foot injury and the ugly boot that ensued…crutches are a blessing and a curse all at once.

I guess I’m not meant to find that devotion I wrote…bummer. Anyway, I have had the tendency in life to seek guidance from others. As a consequence, I tend to get dependent and reliant that those people will always be a resource for me. God ALWAYS has a way of snatching the crutches back from me. You see the downside to using crutches for too long is that you become dependent on them, so much that you get comfortable and complacent where you are. You stop challenging and pushing yourself to do better, until you get into a position where you feel stuck. Ah yes, in the past, I got to that place quite often. It was like finally one day God got tired of me and told me enough was enough and started snatching the crutches away–the people I went to in order to seek Him, instead of praying and going to Him for myself. Isn’t that why Jesus died, so that we are no longer separated from the Father? There is no longer a need for sacrifices–well maybe sacrificing time here and there to truly spend that time with God.

And it would happen that either that person who had become my crutch would say something I didn’t agree with, hurt my feelings, or offend me in some way. Then I would go back to God for myself. Now I recognize it is the same thing happening again, some people had become my crutches in Charleston or over the years. Now that I have left, so have the crutches, and I am learning to walk on my own again, except this time hand in hand with God.

Maybe a valued friend or mentor has recently left their coveted position in your life and like me, it has left you confounded, confused, and in disbelief. Rest assured, God’s hand is stretched out to you in order for you to get through, but this time He wants you to come to Him for yourself, beyond the veil. I realize crutches are only supposed to support you in a time of weakness. But how do you know that your legs are strong enough until you try to walk without them?

“Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”” Matthew 28:20 NLT