Tag: growth

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Embrace the Beauty Within You

“You are the one
who put me together
inside my mother’s body,
and I praise you
because of
the wonderful way
you created me.
Everything you do is marvelous!
Of this I have no doubt.”
Psalm 139:13-14 CEV

Growing up one of the things I was most insecure about was my weight. (*GASP* shocker!! lol). It wasn’t until I went through what at the time was the most difficult experience of my life…finding out I had kidney disease my junior year of college…that I was finally able to address this particular issue head on. Along with it came prednisone…and I tell y’all it was the best and worst thing I had to endure. The worst: I already struggled with my weight, among other things, from being picked on and being told by a relative that I came from ’roundness’ on both sides so I would need to be careful…what damaging things (be careful what you say, words are powerful). So in taking a whopping 40 mg twice a day I gained nearly 30 pounds in less than 3 months. My face broke out from the stress and I’m sure the addition of medicines to my daily regimen. I had no energy and was in pain. I got so depressed…because I didn’t recognize the face smiling back at me…because I was bigger than what I felt I should be…because people asked me if I had a baby…because instead of stretch marks I have rip marks on my arms and sides from the extreme stretching that I FELT happening. I cried daily, because I found no one to relate to. I stopped talking pictures (y’all know how I am about pictures)…all because I hated what looked back at me. I felt ugly and fat…something I feared being (which serves as proof that sometimes what you fear will manifest). It wasn’t until an encounter in KMart that I really learned to embrace myself and love me from the inside out. That was the best part, that I overcame my past to love me in the present and give myself a better future. (out of the mouths of babes :D)

Now the tables have turned, I have been hovering around the same weight, I eat healthier, and I embrace me and everything that entails for who I was born to be. That may mean I won’t be the ‘thickest’, the most curvy anymore, or any other beauty standard women are measured by…but I love me! I’ve been studying Esther’s life, and in that story, her weight as a requirement of her beauty is nowhere to be found! I’m certain her inner beauty–the thing that gave her favor everywhere she went, her gift from God–is what won her the coveted spot as queen in a foreign land! Ladies and fellas too, I share this today to encourage you to love who you are and watch things change. Whatever process ensues–cleansing, fasting, etc.–embrace it to be the best you yet! Physical beauty is only skin deep, but a beautiful soul will draw others to you! Let God transform you!

Below is a video I just did that elaborates on this…be encouraged! Love what you see!

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I Stand Corrected

“For the LORD disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.” Hebrews 12:6 NLT

I got many a spanking as a child (well not as much as my brother) for being mean and sassy…the sassiness persists lol but I don’t think I’m mean lol. No-nonsense maybe, but not mean. Anyway, I used to do some bad things, like slap my brother or kick him in the stomach or just punch him…I think it was because I didn’t have any girl cousins my age. A proud dress-wearing tomboy I am, thank you. LOL

But Lord knows I used to dread getting that whipping. My daddy had this belt, that we kids called ‘the belt.’ No matter where we hid it, WE had to go find it to get ready for the beatdown. I hate that thing lol. I don’t know how it lasted all those years. 3 kids…who all were not spared the rod…Jesus lol. Anyway, before the punishment ensued, my momma would often talk to us about what we did and we would start crying. I don’t know about my brothers, but I cried because of the beating, not because of what I did, because I know I meant to do it. Like I meant to slap him lol. It was the beating that hurt and left me thinking, was what I did really worth all this…?

Fast forward to adulthood. I have made many mistakes and the threat of being disciplined by God was enough to scare me straight. For every choice there is a consequence, both good and bad–being that consequences are simply the resulting reaction to an action (thanks physics lingo). I have gone places I should not have gone and done things I should not have done. I was simply being disobedient and doing what Marquita wanted to do. And some of the consequences were not worth the trouble. Let me be frank and honest here if I may. I have sinned before (gasp!) and as a result, in one particular circumstance, it cost me my direct line of communication with God, until I was away from the origin of the sins. God cannot be in the presence of sin, and thank God for Jesus because after the whipping I got (uncertainty it caused, rejection by the party involved) I was right back where I needed to be.

As my parents told me, the whippings and beatings were done out of love. If my parents did not love me, I would have fallen to the wayside and every time I went astray they would not have exerted the energy to reel me back into the fold. God is the same. In both the Parables of the Lost Sheep and the Prodigal Son, God’s love for us is evident. He would search to the ends of the earth for a lost sheep (like you and me) who by our wayward living get whipped until we decide to return home. He welcomes us with open arms for a loving embrace like the father of the Prodigal Son. (See Luke 15)

Sometimes life will whip us with hard times, the Word and the Holy Spirit will whip us with conviction, and we will allow the enemy to whip us with guilt, condemnation and defeat. Having been there and over doing that, haha, I rest in how those things have changed me and I look back now on those beatings with respect. Because God loved me so much, as my parents did, they saw fit to intervene and stimulate me to change courses. That is what being corrected is all about…serving as a catalyst for you to change.

“My child, don’t reject the LORD’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you. For the LORD corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.” Proverbs 3:11-12 NLT