Category: Devotions

What Demons are You Feeding?

“Complain if you must, but don’t lash out.
Keep your mouth shut, and let your heart do the talking.
Build your case before God and wait for his verdict.” Psalm 4:4-5 The Message

“Be angry [or stand in awe] and sin not; commune with your own hearts upon your beds and be silent (sorry for the things you say in your hearts). Selah [pause, and calmly think of that.]” Psalm 4:4 AMP

“In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. Selah” Psalm 4:4 NIV

“When angry, do not sin; do not ever let your wrath (your exasperation, your fury or indignation) last until the sun goes down. Leave no [such] room or foothold for the devil [give no opportunity to him].” Ephesians 4:26-27 AMP

Yesterday I told you all to seek God before you act. The above verses (Psalm 4:4-5) tell you quite plainly to do that. I must say that I have truly grown; I used to say things when I got angry that were very hurtful—so just IMAGINE how much hurt would have been caused had I reacted to everything that went on? But you see, it’s even greater damage taking place than hurting someone else. When you act in anger, you allow the devil to dictate your actions. When you let anger stay past its welcome, Anger invites Bitterness over for the long haul. You take God away from the situation and seek to impart your own vengeance. I ask what demons are you feeding because when we act impulsively, there is always some demon, or even the devil himself, acting as the fuel behind that situation. By acting in anger or worse yet, allowing it to fester (and not just overnight, but by not addressing it and letting it linger on) you feed and nourish it. Anger is like the unwanted pest in your home. When you drop crumbs and do not clean them up, the pests feed on it. Then they start reproducing, causing more destruction. Before you know it, they have built a nest behind the walls and just drop by uninvited whenever they please. Pretty soon what started as one or two becomes a problem requiring “professional” intervention.

I chose to go to my mom or call my assistant pastor to vent and specifically them first for a reason. Had I called the wrong person, they would have added lighter fluid to my anger and could have perhaps caused me to do and say some unnecessary things. I decided to not call any of the offenders first because I was already angry, and why burn them with hurtful words? Not to mention the fact that they acted in self in the first place by considering their own opinion as more important than those of everyone involved; but what good would it have done, me calling or addressing them after they had already said their thoughts? I was a little bit exempt from Eph. 4:26 because some of the things did not happen in the daytime, rather they were discovered in the evening, lol. But no excuses! I read something today that applies here: if you desire to truly get over anger, the only way to do that is to forgive. And as un-fun as forgiving someone can be when you’ve been wronged, it is the only way to get past it because to forgive you have to stop bringing it up. You have to accept that you were wronged and let it go—because if you don’t, you have not forgiven that person! Trust I’ve complained about them, how selfish and uncaring they were, how their acts were definitely not helpful in the least way—because some people used every opportunity they could to get something out of my dad’s passing for themselves, and how much I wanted to curse them out or put my sneakers on and…well. But none of that would have helped me or would it have given me lasting satisfaction. Despite the fact that my father’s passing was supposed to be about comforting the people he loved the most—my mom, my brothers, and I—people always have a way of ruining things or making things about themselves especially when they feel some sort of guilt. Acting out would have done nothing but made me as ignorant as them; worse yet it would have hurt my family. Those that were genuinely there to help, gave their help with no questions asked, no backtalk and no unwanted opinions. I spent so much time being angry and worked up over everything that I missed out on sleep from anxiety attacks and feeling my heart racing.

I also read that if you have been wronged, you should try to keep it to yourself. Because once you keep telling people things, their reactions can negatively influence your reactions. It makes perfect sense though; keeping your mouth shut, searching your own heart and allowing God to be the final judge as said above keeps you from feeding that pride demon and giving in to the wrath demon where the lashing out is the sin! If you do not say anything, nobody knows what happened to you, how Joe Blow hurt your feelings and how you should never say anything to him again. Besides, maybe it is something you can work through. In my case, I probably will distance myself from the involved parties for a while because I’m just one of those people that believes helping and caring for others should happen without conditions. You should always be willing to help others when lead to do so. After this experience, it just makes me want to guard my heart even closer, but I do forgive them…can’t block my blessings being mad! Neither should you! Get the pestilence out of your mind, homes, and away from you because you end up hurting yourself even more!

“Get rid of your bitterness, hot tempers, anger, loud quarreling, cursing, and hatred.” Ephesians 4:31 GWT

Get Divine Consultation Before You Act

“Understand [this], my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry.”
James 1:19 AMP

I must say thank you to everyone that was supportive and took the time to listen to me these last two weeks. Losing my father was something I could not fathom in the amounts of stress, anger and anxiety that would weigh on me and my spirit. I have had sleepless nights, sleeping for two hours then awake the next 22 hours. Those of you that took the time to listen know that I experienced much of this at the hands of my family; from all of the unwanted advice and opinions to flagrant expressions of Academy Award-winning acting and whoop-lah, it was quite an experience.

I spent lots of time in prayer, prayer to protect me from the hurtful things that were being done and said, prayer to keep me from “going postal” and hurting my mom even more, and prayer that I maintain my strength and health so that I could be strong for my family. It was hard with folks saying and emailing all kinds of things to you. None of the people considered the things I have encountered since before my dad died, or the fact that I had a kidney transplant last year and that extreme amounts of stress can cause kidney rejection. No one took into consideration the amount of self-control required not to snap back at them—but instead, say nothing and keep my distance. I really have to thank God for discernment and revelation of ways for me to get out of stressful environments like walking my dog and leaving the house altogether. No one considered the fact that certain members of our family felt it their responsibility to try and abscond decisions regarding my father’s care from my mother. No one considered or knew about the difficulties I experienced at work before this or afterwards—including having a shouting match over the phone with my supervisor the day my dad passed and even having been yelled at by my supervisor on Wednesday then being called again by him on Friday. No one considered the amount of stress from having no available leave to use during this absence because of my transplant last year. To make matters worse, not a single one of these offenders asked me how I was doing, no one pulled me to the side to ask me what was wrong, if I needed anything or if I needed to talk before voicing or writing their frivolous assumptions. Even more appalling, some of them haven’t even lost a pet, let alone a parent, child, sibling or spouse, so how can they offer an opinion about a situation they have not gone through! In my mind and heart I was hurt and angry, but like Jesus said I had to turn to the other side and let them slap the other side because my reaction would not have been pretty or helpful. Surprisingly, in the face of all of these things, I did not say anything. It was the hardest pill of humility I ever had to swallow because I definitely wanted to rip them a new one (smile). Lord you know how it is eating me up! Sometimes though, it is those closest to you that hurt you by their own misguided guilt and frustration. People often want to shift the blame to someone else when they themselves have done or not done all they could have done in a particular situation. But in respect of my father’s memory, and out of love for my mother and brothers, I overlooked all of these things. And fortunately for these people I had a few people I could go bounce my anger off of. My choice was simply to walk away, say very little if anything at all, and ignore them.

I’ve been on the other side where I did not fully think through the reaction to what I said to someone. I thought about it after the fact, and I did apologize. But the words were already out and the damage already done. We as human beings have a “me-centered” mentality rather than being “God-centered”. We judge before knowing the whole story, we accuse and offer unwanted advice, and many of us speak without thinking, even to the point of not considering what the person may be going through before voicing our sometimes unneeded opinions. “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.” Proverbs 10:19. I DEFINITELY know it was much better for me to hold my tongue and not say anything because there would have been plenty of hurt feelings and angry people. I have to remind myself that God says that vengeance is His so why bother getting riled up when God will handle that for me. The only way to deal with something like this, in my opinion, is to pray. God knows what you need to hear or what to put in your path to keep you from causing yourself a setback, so give it to Him and let Him guide your path and your tongue. Don’t say/write/do NO THING you may regret…

“A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered.”
Proverbs 17:27