Category: Devotions

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Daily Devotion

What It Truly Means to be Selfish

"He who separates himself seeks his own desire, He quarrels against all sound wisdom."  Proverbs 18:1 NASB

I'm in a particularly foul mood…just stemming from a few things…and said to myself, "I wish I knew how to be selfish."  And I have been thinking avidly about what it truly means to be selfish, and if God allowed for any selfishness in the Bible.  I am a person that has always elevated the needs of others above my own happiness, resulting in sometimes stressful and hurtful situations, especially when my kindness is abused or taken for granted.  I am one of those people that considers other people's feelings even before I say something to them, taking sometimes weeks and months to say something that has been laid on my heart because I have to find the right words through prayer.  I often find myself calling my dog Parker selfish when I play with him, because he only wants to stop playing when he wants to, or he doesn't want you to touch his toys unless he wants you to.  So as I pondered this idea all morning, I figured I would do a little research to see what it truly means, because nowadays most people have a me-first mentality or they have a limited scope of what it means to be selfish.

According to the verse above, a loner or selfish, self-centered person is a person that seeks their own desire and argues with sound wisdom.  Okay, so I decided to cross-reference that with Websters' definition: being concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself: seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure or well-being without regard for others.  Well, these are pretty close if not exactly the same.  And our Heavenly Father is against this because most importantly, selfishness separates us from Him. A selfish person will not even receive what you have to say, even if it is from God, because it will not line up for them with their plans.  In fact, according to Romans 2:8, God will pour out His wrath and anger on them.  Moreover, in Philippians 2:3, Paul invokes us to consider others as better than ourselves and to not be selfish.

I guess for me this is a little hard today, because like I said, I believe I always consider others before myself, often being hurt in the midst of that.  But I get a little comfort in the fact that God tells us to love our neighbors as ourselves–and of course in loving myself, I do not want to be hurt, so in love I should not simply allow someone to knowingly hurt me.  So instead of surrounding myself with others today, I'll spend the day working and talking with God so that He can clean up all confusion in my life and help me see what I am doing wrong.  Its okay to love on yourself, but once that 'love' starts to make you mistreat, manipulate and maliciously use others, you have lost the true meaning.

"The second is like it, 'YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.'  Matthew 22:39 NASB

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Daily Devotion

So You Think You're In Love
 
"Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love."  1 John 4:8 ESV
 
I always think back to when I would listen to Lauren Hill's cd.  There is a skit on there where the teacher asks his students what it means to be in love.  I find it funny now as I am trying to walk in love with everyone, and learn more about God in the process, because the stories the students told were of what they thought was romantic love.  I always thought growing up that love was a feeling or something that you can choose to do.  But I'm finding out that it is in many ways more complicated than that but at the same time, a simple concept…weird right?
 
Well last year before my dad passed away, I stood up in front of family and friends and shared with them what God told me to say as I remembered my father.  I read from 1 Corinthians 13–effectively known as the Love Chapter of the Bible.  It proceeds to share the importance of love, what love is not, and what love does.  I now realize that love produces wisdom, as one of the qualities of love is to overlook wrongs–and as I wrote a few days ago, a wise person overlooks wrongs.  I realized that I did not have to look to others or someone in a relationship to teach me to love, because all along I had a great example at home in my daddy's love for my mom.
 
In many families today, these things are not being perpetuated or reinforced, as for some strange reason, we have all developed an every man for himself/herself mentality, even within the family structure.  The dysfuntions created by the devil to destroy God's ideal and plan for the family unit have flourished and allow curses and negative behaviors to propigate and multiply over generations, effectively passing down illnesses and diseases for example as part of the family gene, rather than love and brotherhood, respect and trust.  I myself do admit on both sides of my family a myriad of dysfunctions, and if it were not for the love within my immediate circle, I could have surely been lost to the wolves.
 
So, you think you're in love, right–and here I mean knowing God, and loving Him.  Do you know God?  Do you pray and talk and think about Him–including His word, His Son, and the very act that saved your soul?  Do you overlook the wrongs that people have done to you–or if you haven't, have you gotten help from a mature Christian to get you on your way to forgiveness?  Have you cried out to God to save you or to teach the things you need to know in order to be IN love–with Him??  Have you taken time to be in a relationship with God?
 
I have been thinking a lot lately about the things I desire to do with my life, and the things I have already accomplished.  I accomplished every goal I had set for myself (or thus replaced that goal with one I have already achieved) when I was a teenager.  The only thing I have yet to do is to get married and have children.  And I have been wondering why I have not done that yet, as my close friends continue to marry and some even have children now.  I will say it is not because I have not met the man yet DISCLAIMER HERE lol–I have my beliefs about who I think it is, but God has the final say, so silence okay lol!  Rather because I have not taken heed the example I had at home nor have I fully taken the time to be in a relationship with God.  At this point, I do not think I am fully prepared to take on the role women are required in Titus 2:4, and I do not want to microwave my process if I do not have to.  I've played around and said, "Okay God, I'm ready.  Let's get together and meet with each other regularly.  I really want to be in a better relationship with you."  Sure enough, after a few days–not even weeks, I will overlook God for something, some obligation, some person, or just actually to be lazy!  I have not let God have His way, like He really wants to, in pursuit of my own desires.  And this isn't about my calling, rather the calling we all share from God to be in a true, personal, relationship with Him, where we should forsake all others for time in His presence.  When that dawned on me, I decided to hell with everybody else, I will give God what He wants, so He can ultimately give me what I want.  It isn't easy because like a wise person, walking with/in love, or rather with/in God, I must overlook the wrongs of others to me…as much as I would rather act otherwise.  And I must not get jealous, get angry easy, think about myself all the time…and the list goes on.  Some of these are easier than others, but to truly be in Love, I must be willing to get to know God and make sacrifices where the furthering of our relationship is concerned.
 
So think about what love means…and determine if that is really what you think you are in…because if you aren't, you need to be making the same choice I did and let yourself grow deeper in God.
 
"We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them."  1 John 4:16 NLT