Author: marquitabp

Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good. 1 Peter 2:2-3

I really feel like I have the most non-random, random encounters of God. (There are NO coincidences, haha.) So let me explain.

I was dropping off a friend of my friend after finishing getting my hair done. He is a make-up artist and we talked on the way, about how he came to be in Atlanta, and what is his ultimate goal. At some point in the conversation, he asked me what is my sign. I said huh because I wasn’t totally listening at that very moment, and he repeated it. I replied, "oh, I’m a Cancer." He then told me I have sweet spirit but can be crabby. I burst out laughing because its true. Then I thought about how a lot of stuff astrology and horoscopes have to say about people born around my time of the year are true. Then somewhere in those thoughts and words buzzing around my head, God spoke to me about how religion and spirituality are now flavored or enhanced by these things that are not of God. Growing up, I LOVED to drink chocolate and strawberry milk. So it dawned on me: pure milk is what we need, but chocolate milk is what we want, and subsequently drink.

Nowadays, in many churches, in many homes, and in many of the minds of the masses, there are beliefs that are not biblically based or that are variations of the word of God. From Christian denominational traditions to the mainstream inclusion of astrology, voodoo, witchcraft, and other religions and New Age movements as parts of our everyday life and personal belief systems, there are many things that are flavoring the pure milk. Sure, you may still be getting milk, but at what cost? What are you sacrificing–are you getting whole milk, that full fat, pure milk of the Lord, or are you getting skim milk or 2% milk? What are you adding to it? What has been taken away from it?

I don’t know why that stuck out in my mind. I guess to show how we are easily deceived and make things ‘doctrinal’ that really should not be. Or maybe to show how easily we get caught up in worldly things, flavoring that milk, until there is no longer any milk left, but the damaged caused by the additives. Case in point, when we don’t truly know the word of God, we get confused…and I hope you know that the enemy is the author of confusion, seeking to corrupt us all and damn us to eternity separate from the Father.

We are susceptible to it because of the society we live in. We get caught up in them because they sound better than what the Bible tells us to do: making it wrong to offer correction to a brother or sister in Christ and right to encourage their downfall. Religious freedom and tolerance allow for a variety of belief systems to flourish. As a result, strangely enough, this tolerance promotes religious swirling. By swirling I mean many churches and religious figures add a little bit of this and a little bit of that to get more people through the doors, and the more that happens, the more watered down the Word will be. It is my hope that God corrects that in me, that I always accurately represent Him to the world and I pray you the same!

So I ask you today to ask yourself, are you getting pure milk? Are you taking what you hear at face value because the preacher, or your teacher, or your friends, or your mom said it? Or are you studying the Word for yourself, spending time with God for yourself, and praying, so that you can adequately test those things that come along–because they most surely will–and discerning for yourself through the help of the Holy Spirit, that which is truth? Be careful, be leery, because all it takes is a turn off, a omitted word, or a rearrangement of the words, as the serpent did with Eve, to fall. And if it sounds good and tastes kind of sweet, you might be getting some chocolate powder added to your milk!

Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” 2The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’ ” 4“You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. 5“For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” 6When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. 7Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. Genesis 3:1-7

The soldiers also twisted together a crown of thorns, put it on His head, and threw a purple robe around Him. John 19:2

So, I guess the only place to start is at the beginning. I hope this blesses and encourages you to keep pushing, even when you get to your breaking point like I did. The last few weeks have been beyond hectic, and the last year has been beyond difficult. All of the frustrations and heartaches for me came to a head the weekend before last. It started with my oversleeping and missing the ride to Atlanta with my church, but I was okay, because I was able to get a bike (score for me…sorta…I later found out I could have gotten the same bike brand new for the price it cost me to get the bike and get a tune up…but oh well.) Then…I needed to get a trim…initially I decided against it. But I knew I was going to get a sew-in this past Saturday and needed a trim before I got it done. (I’m not sure if its showing up, but trim is bolded, lol, pay attention.) So, it bugged me, and to make sure my hair stays healthy while in these protective styles and since I was trying to let it grow out, I went ahead to get a trim. Sigh. Let’s just say my precious hair is 2-3 inches shorter and cut even when that was not my request. I prefer layers, not even hair (*insert angry scowl here*). I was devastated. I got depressed immediately and I am just recovering from the test of my faith that ensued.

Most of you may think I’m crazy, and maybe I am. Sue me. But it was in the midst of that situation that I had several epiphanies that were not so comfortable. I felt like, with valid reason, that every time I got back on my feet and was moving forward, an obstacle would come or some attack would knock me down. And especially with my hair. My journey with growing my hair out has been my tangible example of my faith walk. So I was very down…very low. Over the course of last week, I told God I don’t care, and that I’m not the person for this and that I was angry about all the things I have had to go through with no breaks. I still am not sure whether I am. I asked Him flat out why am I still here if all I do is fight and struggle and be strong for others and suffer and wait. No answer came to me at all that day. I didn’t flat out stop praying, I vowed to pray for others and ignore what I wanted because it seemed like I would never get it. Yet, somehow I knew when I prayed for others it would work. Strange thinking…no stinking thinking. LOL. I had several conversations last week where people attempted to encourage me. I tried listening to a sermon, I tried reading the Bible, and I tried reading devotions but I just wasn’t in the right state of mind.

So last Friday, I woke up early so I could try to get out of New Orleans on time to leave for Atlanta. I prayed the night before and I finally accepted that the hair was gone. (Side note, I went through the stages of grief smh; trims are traumatic for me unless I go to Tamara. From now on until I die, I will suck it up and make that ride to Atlanta from wherever I am…never again will anyone else trim my hair). By the time I got in the car to go to work, I had a text message from one of my linesisters, letting me know that her sister was diagnosed with Lupus.

See many of you don’t know that technically, I was diagnosed with Lupus back in 2006 when my kidney problems were discovered. I went into a deep depression; I was angry with God then too. During junior year, I started having some strange symptoms which led to me having to have a biopsy. Well right there was God’s hand on my life. Because instead of prepping me for the biopsy, the doctor ordered additional labs that morning, which was not the norm, and I waited. I later was admitted to the hospital where I stayed for two weeks during the middle of the second semester of school because had they done the biopsy that day, I would have bled to death. I was poked and prodded like a cow, isolated, depressed, and everything imaginable while I was in there. They could not find out what was wrong with me. I read the bible and I prayed to God that it would not be Lupus. I prayed and I prayed. Some friends, including my college roommate and two of my spiritual sisters, came and prayed for me. My boyfriend’s (at the time) mom and aunt and sister came and prayed for me. Friends came and visited me. At some point during the hospitalization, I tested positive for some of the markers for Lupus. Then, after being treated with all sorts of medicines to get my platelet count up, I had the kidney biopsy. I had been being tested since I was 16 and every time after being in the hospital, the tests were negative.

I had the moon pie face and I hated taking pictures. I refused to be in the front of a picture. And then I got bigger than this!

You can see here that I was just getting the stria on my arms (they were still red so my skin was still ripping from the weight gain)

When I got out of the hospital, my life changed completely. I went from eating and drinking whatever I wanted to a strict diet and a new additive: prednisone. I gained about 30 lbs in less than 2 months. People asked me what was wrong; it hurt to walk and I was easily fatigued. Some people asked if I had a baby… So last Friday morning when I got her message, I suddenly understood why I was still here as those memories rushed back.

I had a vision after reading the message from my linesister. I saw an image of Jesus with the crown of thorns around His head. I saw the scratches they caused and the blood that dripped from them and I thought of the pain, His shed blood for our lives. Then I thought of Paul and the thorn in his flesh. Both had thorns, but it was how they looked at them that was different. So I now have a new understanding of 2 Corinthians 12:7-10. Paul was tormented by a messenger of satan. This thorn he had, much like my thorn, can be equated to those negative thoughts. That messenger of satan will torment you and cause you to get depressed and discouraged, either by haunting you with thoughts of your current suffering and the things you have faced in life. It was in realizing God’s grace, God’s love, God’s gift to him–Jesus’ life, death and resurrection–that Paul was able to rejoice because God used those situations in Paul’s life to bring victory, to save souls and to spread the Good News to the world. It was in looking at the thorn in his side as Jesus did, necessary to bring about God’s intended purpose, that Paul was able to walk in God’s grace through it.

And now I can do the same. I had thought of thorns in my mind, how instead of victories, the things that I had gone through were like the notches in a tree that was being chopped down. They were thorns, embedded in my mind and heart, serving as a constant reminder of what happened and I was allowing them to still cause me pain. I have the physical reminders of what I went through, the stretch marks, the transplant scar, the biopsy scars (I had a bone marrow biopsy and a kidney biopsy before I was diagnosed, and a thyroid biopsy after my surgery). I have the little stubborn pooch that seems like it will never go away (ugh lol) from my daily prednisone. These thorns have been areas of torment for me instead of access points for the victory. I was reminded of the thorns because these thorns, these uncomfortable situations, are preparing me for my eternal crown. Because for every thorn I have, God has a way in the making for me to rejoice in spite of that thing. And while encounters with thorns sometimes leave scars, those scars fade. I went through what I went through so that I could testify of what faith can do. God healed me. Even though I had to have a transplant, I am healed. Even though I take medicines, I am healed. I live and come and go as I please. I remember that He died and rose. He bore the thorns so that I can wear a crown.

I’m a living testimony of the power of faith. I have had several other diagnoses that I no longer have. The things that happened to me this last year, for a moment were like a prison. I was imprisoned by the burdens, by those thorns in my mind. And even though my diagnosis still says Lupus, the tests they have given me since then say that I’m negative. Why? Because I chose to look at that ‘thorn’ through the eyes of faith and I chose to focus on God’s truth and His grace He extended to me. So I encourage you, that in whatever situation you may be in today, to have faith and get back up. Rise again. Shake off the depression and discouragement; look at your thorns the way that Jesus did. Look at those situations as preparation for the crown of glory God will give you. Don’t focus on the pain, focus on the purpose. Remember in spite of what you’ve gone through and may be going through, God loves you and His grace is sufficient. Remember His power is greater than anything you may ever face and that your crown awaits!

This is two weeks ago, the week of that dang trim! Ugh! lol! Argghhhh lol.

He Himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, so that, having died to sins, we might live for righteousness; you have been healed by His wounds. 1 Peter 2:24