Author: marquitabp

Looking for Love

"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."  Romans 8:38-39 NASB

When God made man, He created him as a complete being–that is complete in himself and having a direct line of communication with God.  God did observe that it was not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18) and out of the man God created woman.  After man's fall in Genesis 3, God made it so among other things that woman would be desirous of her husband, with him ruling over her.  Never at any point throughout this process does God say that mankind should look to themselves for love, or to others to gain love.  I do believe that was a product of sin invading the earth, that warped pride and self-love would elevate us as gods alongside or above God.  How can God–being that He is love (1 John 4:8,16) even want us to do such a thing, as He created us for Himself–so that He could love us and we love Him!

I've noticed in reflection on my own past relationships and the relationships of those close to me, that we all have a seemingly innate desire to be in a love relationship with another person.  This reminds me of the country song 'Lookin' For Love' by Johnny Lee which says the following in the chorus:

"I was lookin' for love in all the wrong places
Lookin' for love in too many places
Searchin' her eyes, lookin' for traces
Of what I'm dreamin' of
Hoping to find a friend and a lover
I'll bless the day I discover,
You – lookin' for love."

As a woman, I have searched for love in romantic relationships to much disappointment.  It was not until recently after much self-evaluation and personal introspection that I understood that I cannot find love without Love, that is, I cannot find love without God.  If I do not know God and understand what great feats He performed and the painstaking measures He underwent in order to ensure my eternity is spent with Him, then I cannot love.  If I do not know that God Himself stepped off His throne to perform the perfect act, the only act worthy enough to clean my slate of the sin that He so hates, then I cannot love.  If I could not grasp the real life examples He provided me with to understand and know His love, then I in essence of the fact, cannot love.  It is my belief that is why there are so many teenage pregnancies, because in a society rampant with skewed views of what love truly is, the only way to get that need fulfilled is through bringing another child into the world that will love you unconditionally in spite.

That was a harsh reality for me.  To think I spent lots of time in meaningless relationships in pursuit of the ever elusive love brings many not so pleasant memories to my mind, when instead all I had to do was devote that same effort to pursuing God.  See God is a jealous God, and as a friend of mine said and I paraphrase, anything can become a god or idol, even pursuit of love–not God, but the feeling.  As I look at my life and the lives of my closest friends, and how that pursuit of love has affected all of our lives in not all positive ways, I wondered what is it that we must do in order to find that true love we seek.  The only thing that comes to mind are those same steps associated with modern dating–meet God and rather, He will meet you where you are, spend time with God–date God: find quiet time where it is just you and Him, study His word, talk to Him and listen when He speaks to you, and show/tell God you love Him by thanking Him with your life and actions, and more importantly, simply being obedient to Him and His call.

When we search for everything God is in a human, we only temporarily patch the hole in our hearts.  In fact, we sometimes make it bigger, leaving a larger void in our hearts caused by the damage of bad relationships.  Until we go to God, the true source of love, and really get to know Him, we will never feel fulfilled.  So I have decided a while back now to abort my search for love since according to Proverbs, my he should find me.  Knowing who God is, the very structure of His character and being, we cannot expect to satisfy that longing without God.  So turn to Love to learn to love, and in turn find love.

"The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love."  1 John 4:8 NASB

Just What Other Men Have Met

"God called you to endure suffering because Christ suffered for you. He left you an example so that you could follow in his footsteps."  1 Peter 2:21 GWT

I read my favorite poems all week and recited them to myself in the midst of the things that happened.  The title is taken from "See It Through", a poem penned by Edgar Albert Guest, and as I read it, I stopped at that line.  Just What Other Men Have Met…what does that mean to me, at this point in my life?  When I learned this poem, it reassured me that I could endure the obstacles I was facing, and that I was not the only person to go through that–in fact, there were people I could turn to and cry on.  As I know think on a broader scale–no person is exactly alike another person–even down to your look (even with twins).  God gave us the distinction of being unique creatures, but He also gave us the blessing of having His wisdom recorded for all to read.  The Bible tells in many different verses of how we are to share in Christ's sufferings so that we can aspire to be more like Him.

Difficulties in life are a sure thing–in fact I don't know anywhere in the Bible that says that life will be a cake walk.  In fact, in1 Peter 4:12-13 it says: "Dear friends, don't be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. Instead, be very glad–for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world."(NLT)  We are to not be surprised!  All of the early disciples and apostles endured the same, if not worse, ordeals–Stephen was stoned and became one of the first martyrs in Acts, and countless other acts.  Even Paul, who was named Saul at the time, participated in bringing suffering upon all Christians during the early persecutions.  I have the favor of seeing the Underground City in Cappadocia, Turkey, where many early Christians lived underground to survive.

What a blessing I just realized we have!  Even though there are others before us that went through the same difficulties we face in life–hatred, envy, and jealousy, financial strains, illness, death, and loss–we can rejoice that there is certain glory awaiting us at the end.  Like the poem says we must hold our heads high to the finish; why, you say?  Well the promise is that we will share in Christ's glory.  1 Peter 1:6 says "You are extremely happy about these things, even though you have to suffer different kinds of trouble for a little while now.  The purpose of these troubles is to test your faith as fire tests how genuine gold is. Your faith is more precious than gold, and by passing the test, it gives praise, glory, and honor to God. This will happen when Jesus Christ appears again."  The promise of Christ returning, and by believing and trusting in Him, we will see Him again, and live forever.  I don't know about you, but that is something to shout about!  God promises to get us through whatever circumstances we may face and we will see Him in the end!  So now, you must just tell yourself you can make it, or even look to the people in the Bible or in real life that have gone through and are still here pushing forward.  Remember what the ultimate reward is that awaits you!

"Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.  So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing."  James 1:2-4 NLT

see also: 1 Peter 4:1, Acts 14:22, 2 Timothy 2:12, Philippians 3:10, 1 John 2:6, 2 Corinthians 1:5, and Romans 8:15