Tag: God

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Is Your Faith Fireproof?

Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to test you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy. 1 Peter 4:12-13 KJV

I have had these scriptures posted on my door for several years now. But I did not truly understand what was being said in them until last year. Having gone through my ‘wilderness’ experience while living in Charleston, being tested in every area of my life, I honestly was mad and angry with God for allowing me to suffer so greatly. I simply could not understand why I had to go through all of those things that happened while I was in Charleston–in the midst of them. But since I have been gone, it has all been making sense.

My one desire was to finish college and grad school on time. I pushed myself so hard, working full-time at my co-op the summer of 2007 and writing two papers while applying for scholarships and the like. I was not going to allow my kidney disease to keep me from meeting that deadline. The following summer after graduation, it was all worth it. The long hours at school, the loans I took out to live alone…it was all worth it. But immediately after graduation, at my 23rd birthday celebration I was in severe pain all the while smiling through it. It was this that initiated my entering my wilderness experience. By now it should be common knowledge that my kidneys began to rapidly decline in function, which resulted in my kidney transplant. And all the while I was trying to get my finances in order to buy a townhouse and live normally…or so I thought.

2009, 2010, and 2011 brought trials of every area, physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. I couldn’t for the life of me understand what I had done to bring about God’s mighty hand against me, or why He allowed me to go through those things. I was angry with God. Why was I born, why into this family, why I had to suffer with these issues, with no one to talk to about it, with no one to help me, to suffer through some of the worst things–ALONE. All the while, I had these scriptures posted on my door, and I did not understand what they were saying to me. I was angry, but I kept praying for understanding. Of course, as God always does, after the tests and trials were over, I began to see and understand what He was doing.

In life, the one thing we can be assured of is that we will endure tests or ‘trials’ as referred to here. I felt so much like Job, like God what had I done to go through these things. It was after being delivered from a victim mentality and spirit of self-pity that I could see my own faults clearly and then I understood what was the purpose behind the trials. Be careful what you pray for…gosh that is the TRUTH! I prayed for God to use me and to make me more like Jesus, to fix me so that He could use me to help others and walk in my life’s calling–and as a result I had a whole lot of junk that needed to be removed from Him to be able to do those things.

I know now that it was the trials that helped to refine me (although lets be real here, I need more fixing lol). Trials expose you to God’s fire…and His fire will not burn you; instead fiery trials purify and prune you. They cause you to die to self so that everything in your life brings God the glory. It is the fire that purges you from old habits, attitudes, and behaviors. Think about it, most people can’t understand your transformation knowing you used to do this, that, and some other questionable things. It is only God’s power that can bring about a transformation in the midst of struggle and strife. It is only God that can fill those voids and make you whole.

I ask today is your faith fireproof for the following reasons:
1. Can you endure what seems like the lowest point of your life and still trust God?
2. Can you suffer through test after test after test without having any confirmation that God is speaking to you or working in your life?
3. Can you trust God enough to allow the process to be completed??? This means allowing His transformation of your life to come to completion, even if it means severing relationships, moving, and isolation.

I would like to think my faith is fireproof, but I know with every level of elevation, there are new trials and ‘new devils.’ I am trusting God to keep the temperature turned up so that I can be made more and more like Christ. So that may mean that some day I won’t do something I did everyday prior to that or I may not talk to a lifelong friend. But as long as it is a part of God’s tests and purification of me, it is worth it, knowing that I can rejoice at God’s revelation of His glory upon my life. Besides, I know my earthly parents dished out many a fiery ‘spanking’ to make me a better person…wouldn’t our Heavenly Father light the fire underneath us to make us better?

Now if we are children, then we are heirs–heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:17-18 NIV

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Love is Your Best Weapon

Love is patient. Love is kind. Love isn’t jealous. It doesn’t sing its own praises. It isn’t arrogant. It isn’t rude. It doesn’t think about itself. It isn’t irritable. It doesn’t keep track of wrongs. It isn’t happy when injustice is done, but it is happy with the truth. Love never stops being patient, never stops believing, never stops hoping, never gives up. Love never comes to an end. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 GWT

Happy Wednesday!! I have a lot to be grateful for: God has moved in my life in a major way. Because of my detox I have actually been receptive to God so that I can just watch and participate. He has also been moving in the lives of my friends and family. Oh wait yes…the first semester of law school is over!!!!!!!!! Hallelujah!!! Glory, glory!

Anyway, I’ve written a lot of posts lately via Facebook and Twitter on the importance of guarding your mind and the war we face against the enemy. But I realized something today in listening to Joyce Meyer’s message on Spiritual Warfare. Don’t laugh, but I just thought about a Boondocks episode with Stinkmeaner lol and how they overcame his hatred was with a like mind, and in essence, in love (what both Stinkmeaner and Uncle Ruckus loved to hate lol). As a result, they were able to cast him out of Tom. And that is the lesson: you fight the enemy through unconditional love, love that loves them when they don’t love themselves, pure and uncontaminated love, Agape love, the God-kind of love. How you do this is you make it up in your mind that you will smile and be kind to the grouch, you will open doors for the bigots, you will pay for the meal of an elderly or homeless person, you will give to the person that asks…yes all this and more!

As she was preaching, it made me think of some things. One thing in particular…I loved a man…(I think that is in a song…yep Lauren Hill lol!) This love I had for him was different from any I had ever experienced in my life. Before this, with my ex-boyfriend, I had purposed in my heart to love people the way that God does. Loving my ex-boyfriend was extremely difficult. It is hard loving a broken person, someone who had been abused and in turn dished out that same abuse. (Hmmm, I know that is something God could say about me…and you too!) But with this other man, the love came naturally and was easy at first because it was fun and there was a transparency I never had. I loved him like I loved my brothers, not romantically, although I felt I grew to love him that way. I felt like it was okay to be Marquita–almost, but I was afraid to really love him. Then things started to go sour, and strangely enough, I loved him more. I wanted to pour out all the love that God had placed in my heart on him, to help heal him from the pain he had, because whether he admitted it or not, there was pain. I could see it…because having been in that same kind of pain, I knew what it looked like. At some point over the last year or longer I finally gave up–and did exactly the opposite of what was above. I realized my ‘keeping hope alive’, lol, was from a selfish place. I was truthfully not walking in love towards him by getting caught up in my feelings. Finally, I realized one day, I was only thinking about myself. So I had to let God lead me as I tried to stop loving someone who did not love me back and still walk in love towards him in spite. How did I do that, you ask? Well, I knew that we are instructed to love–so I had to keep interceding, praying and trusting God with that person. It meant putting everything into the perspective of his soul being saved instead of being caught up in my feelings, especially when it meant our relationship was over for good.

You see it is those very things…feelings…that keep us bound in the hurt that a person inflicted on us, and sometimes they do not even know what they did (blinders to our shortcomings sometimes prevent us from seeing who we hurt while we are hurting). Can’t you see that this battle is in our minds?! Our emotions, thoughts and feelings all tell us to protect ourselves and retreat in defeat instead of warring in the Spirit through the love of God! Not only do we fight war in the traditional sense of binding and loosing the enemy, but we war by giving that person the same love that God gives us. You must make a conscious decision in your mind to seek God for the strength to love everybody His way. Love even the person that broke your heart, your mom who lied or put you in the middle, your family that did nothing but tear you down, your ex-boyfriend who physically put their hands on you…or that best friend that abandoned you. We must love these people in spite because God loves us that very same way.

I love 1 Corinthians 13 because it speaks to my heart. Before my dad passed, I had already purposed in my heart to speak and share how God taught me what His love was in the four months that it took for the cancer to steal my dad from us. I saw friendship, forgiveness, and love between my parents like never before. My prayer was that God healed him, so that I could keep seeing that smile and light emanate from my mom. I searched in an unfulfilling, mentally and emotionally taxing relationship to create the love He put right in my parent’s home! At the prayer vigil, I read and I guess I preached, from this chapter. The passage above shows us the very actions that the Agape, God-kind of love does and what it is, and this is our guideline. You war in love: you are patient, allowing the process and let God’s work take place. You are kind because you remember God is kind to us especially because we don’t deserve it. You get rid of that jealous spirit; don’t get mad because you have to share your friends, your spouse, family or children with others. But wait, let me be real here, don’t envy someone else’s relationships because your relationships are not what you envisioned. When you love others you don’t always point out the things you’ve done and conversely you don’t remember every wrong they have done to you. I can and would go on, but you see what I mean. We war over those we love and God has assigned to us by these scriptures. You fight these battles with agape love: keep praying, keep hoping, keep interceding even when it hurts. The enemy hates nothing more than when you spread your love on those who have hurt you. He would hate nothing more than your being loving to all you encounter. Perfect love casts out fear; perfect love dispels hate. That’s how you fight the enemy! You can bind the spirits but then you have to work on the mind by loving them in spite. Get over yourself and let God’s love transform you!

Love sincerely. Hate evil. Hold on to what is good. Be devoted to each other like a loving family. Excel in showing respect for each other. Don’t be lazy in showing your devotion. Use your energy to serve the Lord. Be happy in your confidence, be patient in trouble, and pray continually. Share what you have with God’s people who are in need. Be hospitable. Romans 12:9-13 GWT