Looking for Love
"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39 NASB
When God made man, He created him as a complete being–that is complete in himself and having a direct line of communication with God. God did observe that it was not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18) and out of the man God created woman. After man's fall in Genesis 3, God made it so among other things that woman would be desirous of her husband, with him ruling over her. Never at any point throughout this process does God say that mankind should look to themselves for love, or to others to gain love. I do believe that was a product of sin invading the earth, that warped pride and self-love would elevate us as gods alongside or above God. How can God–being that He is love (1 John 4:8,16) even want us to do such a thing, as He created us for Himself–so that He could love us and we love Him!
I've noticed in reflection on my own past relationships and the relationships of those close to me, that we all have a seemingly innate desire to be in a love relationship with another person. This reminds me of the country song 'Lookin' For Love' by Johnny Lee which says the following in the chorus:
"I was lookin' for love in all the wrong places
Lookin' for love in too many places
Searchin' her eyes, lookin' for traces
Of what I'm dreamin' of
Hoping to find a friend and a lover
I'll bless the day I discover,
You – lookin' for love."
As a woman, I have searched for love in romantic relationships to much disappointment. It was not until recently after much self-evaluation and personal introspection that I understood that I cannot find love without Love, that is, I cannot find love without God. If I do not know God and understand what great feats He performed and the painstaking measures He underwent in order to ensure my eternity is spent with Him, then I cannot love. If I do not know that God Himself stepped off His throne to perform the perfect act, the only act worthy enough to clean my slate of the sin that He so hates, then I cannot love. If I could not grasp the real life examples He provided me with to understand and know His love, then I in essence of the fact, cannot love. It is my belief that is why there are so many teenage pregnancies, because in a society rampant with skewed views of what love truly is, the only way to get that need fulfilled is through bringing another child into the world that will love you unconditionally in spite.
That was a harsh reality for me. To think I spent lots of time in meaningless relationships in pursuit of the ever elusive love brings many not so pleasant memories to my mind, when instead all I had to do was devote that same effort to pursuing God. See God is a jealous God, and as a friend of mine said and I paraphrase, anything can become a god or idol, even pursuit of love–not God, but the feeling. As I look at my life and the lives of my closest friends, and how that pursuit of love has affected all of our lives in not all positive ways, I wondered what is it that we must do in order to find that true love we seek. The only thing that comes to mind are those same steps associated with modern dating–meet God and rather, He will meet you where you are, spend time with God–date God: find quiet time where it is just you and Him, study His word, talk to Him and listen when He speaks to you, and show/tell God you love Him by thanking Him with your life and actions, and more importantly, simply being obedient to Him and His call.
When we search for everything God is in a human, we only temporarily patch the hole in our hearts. In fact, we sometimes make it bigger, leaving a larger void in our hearts caused by the damage of bad relationships. Until we go to God, the true source of love, and really get to know Him, we will never feel fulfilled. So I have decided a while back now to abort my search for love since according to Proverbs, my he should find me. Knowing who God is, the very structure of His character and being, we cannot expect to satisfy that longing without God. So turn to Love to learn to love, and in turn find love.
"The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love." 1 John 4:8 NASB